So I going to be very honest here: I still have a long way to go. I don’t know if I’m at a stage yet where I feel that I’ve truly found the looks for me yet, but I know that I’m getting there.
One of the reasons I wanted to start this blog was not just to impart some advice about the little tips and tricks that would help with optimizing an outfit, but to help myself just as much.
See, my style journey is a long and still ongoing one. As a kid, no I don’t think I dressed fashionably (but who did anyway?). Clothes had never been a focus in my upbringing, as we didn’t need to shop for something new everyday. Besides, if it does its job and covered me up, then it was doing its job.
I did also have to share clothes with my sister too. I didn’t actually mind this, but I do remember having the occasional fall out over certain pieces because we both really liked it.
I remember we used to have this pale pink, sleeveless top with some pink glittery writing on it. We both liked it so much, and got so much wear out of it. Now when I look back at those memories, they seem so ridiculous but also funny.
Anyway, I went from wearing a lot of thrifted pieces and hand me downs, like very pretty laced and frilly dresses as a toddler, to mostly wearing these plain and simple top and utility pants trend. Well, it wasn’t really a trend.
And then in my teenage years, things got a lot more casual. I opted for hoodies, started wearing jeans more, and just simple tee shirts. Again, I still didn’t really shop that often for new clothes, and got more interested in wearing printed shirts with with any kinds of media that I liked.
It’s only after I finished school, finished college, and started working that I finally had some interest in fashion. Before this period in time, I never had any money, and this contributed to my lack of interest in shopping. Suddenly, when I got a job and started earning my own money, I had the ability to go and buy something I wanted.
I started experimenting more with my new found options. Where I had avoided shopping for dresses in my teenage years, this interest came back once I started working. With work comes new work friends, and new work parties.
So I went off the basis of one style that I knew I liked; the defined waistline. I wasn’t fully aware of it at the time, but I had only 1 or 2 dresses that I kept for occasions in my teens. One was black, with straps, a small embroidered black rose on the neckline, and a puffy layer of netting on the bottom half that hit my knees. The second had frills on the scoop neckline, and more netting at the end of the dress. And they both had a cinched waist.
In my spare time I would go clothes shopping more often; I would visit these shops and made sure I tried on as many things as possible. But the problem here was the risk of starting to shop too much, and maybe become a shopaholic.
So I made sure that when I tried things on, that I didn’t buy anything straight away. Delaying your purchase is a really good way to control your spending, and think about whether you actually want to buy something or not. I started to do this a lot, and accumulated some more things that I thought I was happy with.
But recently, and especially over the past year, I’ve been in a bit of a personal dilemma. As I mentioned here, I love a bit of clothes shopping, and I also love thrift shopping. I started using these things more as therapy. I’ve had a few periods in my life when things have got a bit difficult, and I’ve been using retail therapy to temporarily cure it.
But that’s the problem: it is temporary. And what gives you a day or a week of short lived happiness must end. So as I started to buy more clothes, I’ve realized this – it’s not actually been making me an happier.
And don’t get me wrong here. A large portion of my clothes are things that I enjoy wearing, and I get to see them. But since a large part of my day, which is working, requires a uniform that is provided for me, I don’t always see all of my wardrobe.
So a lot of my clothes just sit in my wardrobe, and don’t get worn or seen. And every time I open up my wardrobe, the decision making process gets harder and harder.
My plan from here on out is to do something about this. It may be that my life right now does not align with my goals, and my clothes are only reflecting a far off goal in life.
But you know what? I want to start changing those goals in life. I’ll be honest, I really don’t enjoy my job. It is quite hard work, it takes a whole day from me for 5 days a week, and there aren’t many benefits or leeway. And I know that in order to change my life, and go somewhere different where I can enjoy my life, I will start with clothes and how confident they make me feel.